Found this very funny site via Nathan Bransford, who usually has something interesting to say:
101 Reasons to Stop Writing: Reason #13: You Are Not Dan Brown

A sampler:

In case you’re still not sure, here are a few other indicators that you’re not Dan Brown:

Your computer is not made of solid gold, according to specifications on a long-lost page from Leonardo’s Codex Arundel.
There’s no voicemail from James Patterson offering to ghostwrite your next novel.
You are not under permanent surveillance by the NSA, CIA and the Vatican, even if that pizza guy looks shifty and Catholic.
The paper you’re using is not made from recycled hundred dollar bills.
The CEO of your publishing company doesn’t drop by every Friday to see how the next book’s coming along, and to ask if there are any odd jobs around the mansion that need doing while he’s there.

I guess this is supposed to make me feel better that I’ve done f**k all work on Lemon Wrestler (or even Sane, this week’s issue is a classic, “Oh damn, we’re in the middle of trying to ship something at work and I’m screwed and, oh yeah, I need to turn out Sane this evening… sh*t.”) in the recent past.

Here’s hoping Thursday we return to our regularly scheduled programming. All I’m going to say is all this crap better pay off in the end. Work crap, not writing crap.

At any rate, go check out 101 Reasons to Stop Writing… it may be a good kick in the pants.