All right, it’s not so much a bad B&B (nice location, nice enough place, nice views), but bad owners.

And by bad I guess I mean only for myself and Lorraine and Dylan, because, according to TripAdvisor reviewers, they are absolute saints who have provided their own spit for people arriving with slightly parched throats.

The male half of the ownership’s complex about himself (Napoleonic, in a way, since he’s short, and thinks he’s able to carry having a portrait done of himself on a horse with his hand in his jacket), so perhaps he’d even give it a shot. Especially if he reads this here, because he seems like a vindictive little guy… the most compelling case I can think of is the mysterious review that appeared a few days before I got my act together that just *happened* to bump Lorraine’s negative review from the front page for the B&B which mentioned, apropos of nothing, that that particular guest “*loves* H&J and their B&B because it allows his brother to watch sports because H carries his TV all the way upstairs for them! Wow! Oh, and he loves it because they don’t allow screaming babies… oh, how screaming babies ruin stays in a B&B, don’t you think? Oh man, they’re awful, and I’m so glad no one has mentioned them in any of the previous reviews, but let’s just point out the obvious: babies suck.” So either Napoleon, we’ll call him, for lack of a better name, has been ranting to his guests about his awful experience of allowing a guest who was very upfront about the fact that they had a baby into the B&B and they got complaints (though from what, I have no idea, once the owners took their dog away Dylan was down in 45 minutes, tops), or this guest just really loves getting away from babies by staying at B&Bs.

But here’s the facts: this guy, who did kick us out for having a baby (which I mentioned a couple of times in emails to him), he was incredibly rude to my wife during the process of kicking us out, and then the guy has abused my credit card that we used to book the place, and been misleading to the point of slanderous online (their B&B is “an inapropriate [sic] choice for less than considerate, loud & disruptive guests, regardless of their capacity for demonstrations of malice” … err, what? Dylan was loudest when your bloody dog was in the room! ‘lo?). You’re in the hospitality industry, you know? Oh, you didn’t? Wait, you did? You just forgot? Because obviously we’re undesirables or something.

And I don’t know what to do about it any more. I’m sick of fighting him, and I hope to f**k he comes back in the next life as a… well, I was going to say something small, let’s hope he comes back as barley straw. Maybe someone can make use of him.